Boring Post Alert

UGH! The frustrations boil!! Let me back track a bit. My doctor...three weeks ago, gave me a med that was suppose to help me while we wait on labs. Well... it was a Friday and their lab was closed so we had to wait until Monday. Then FINALLY labs come back a few days later and they have a few high abnormal readings but nothing shocking. Next up..CT scan. They call me on a Thursday saying to stop taking my med (since it wasn't helping) and they would schedule a CT scan. On Friday last week I finally heard back that my CT scan would be on Wednesday (today) ...my first reaction was why so long?? I've gone directly to CT from the dr office before so why is this any different? She was rude and something about referral etc..whatever...I waited...and waited...So today gets here and I have an 815 appointment. I decided no food or drink probably which I'm glad I did. They looked over my file and asked about allergies ( I have been here for a sono before so they have history) and the paper I filled out said I am ALLERGIC to contrast dye...so I hand her back the papers. Obivously...she knows I'm there for a contrast CT and the paper I just handed her in BOLD says allergy to contrast dye...HMM!! She hands me this drink. Here is barium...drink it and they should be with your shortly. Barium? They didn't tell me this. I asked her if it had any side effects etc...she said don't know...I'm just the receptionist.  So I sip on it a bit (disgusting) and they call me to the back. As I'm talking to the radiologist she's reading my paper and looks at me and says STOP! HUH? She asked why they gave me the barium drink when my paperwork has all over it allergic to contrast AND why would my dr send me without premedicating me before scan. ARGG!! She called my specialist and for some reason they didn't know of my allergy so here I am.... in a waiting game....but they won't allow me to do the test outside of the hospital at this point. The side effect of the barium was disgusting to say the least....and my dr never called back today to get another CT scan rescheduled...:( Besides that exciting stuff the  kids are well! Abigail is growing so fast and saying so much. Caleb is busy with school and relaxing before baseball begins. Nick started back on the flight line this week and loves it :P(sarcasm)Sorry for the complaining....but I'm going to one day look at this blog and remember this dark time and see how far I've come...I'm so ready to be better <3  

Hoping to help

I feel the need to write this blog...not only to vent but also because I want people to understand why and possibly help someone who is also in the same boat as me. I often wonder...why...when and how?   

I suffer from IBS/IBD symptoms or as my GI doctor has said...early signs of Crohn's. It is not a walk in the park. My first memory of having tummy trouble took me back to 8th grade.. It has changed my everyday life. I have suffered from IBS for several years now..ignoring my symptoms..which leads to current day. My symptoms have only continued to get worse as time goes on. I have had numerous tests and scans which lead back to the same places. There are days I wake up and say to myself that it's a new day and things will be okay. Some days are...most days are not. I feel like I'm missing out on my kids growing up being in this condition constantly. This past week alone I've lost 6 pounds...afraid to even eat sometimes. I have slowly hid my symptoms and sometimes feel like a prisoner in my own home.  Last week I started a new 'clean' eating diet and added in some fish oil and Kefir. Today was a bad day..the bleeding and bathroom trips continued ....I made it through half of the day without any problems until I ate chicken for lunch..plain ol chicken..one day I will be able to help this ...until then...

I will eventually update this blog as I work with my GI doctor next month on a plan to help me with this. I don't really even know what to call what I have going on right now any certain condition but I want the normal days back...I want my family, friends and clients to understand....it's hard...my symptoms are out of my control right now. Unknowing people say...slacker...2 hour lunches (I do this so I know how my food will digest)...why are you sick all the time, you look fine...on the outside I am...on the inside..I am not ..:(  I'm using this blog to navigate me and help me keep track of where I've been and where I'm going. Feel free to follow...I promise the rest won't be so bad :D

Just a quick update before the big day

Hey everyone! Sorry I have been so silent lately. It's been crazy busy and I haven't had a lot of time to update my blog. Things are well....we had a bit of a scare this past Tuesday but baby is fine and I was told to tell my boss that I need to take my maternity leave?? LOL! I'm pretty excited to meet baby girl and next week will be my final week at work. My body is telling me it's time to rest.

I really wanted to send a THANK YOU to a few of my friends  that made efforts to help me out while Nick was gone the past 7 weeks. It really meant a lot to Caleb and me. It was one of the harder things I've had to do emotionally and physically but I couldn't of done it without your help. After coming home from work with swollen ankles the last thing I wanted to do was stand at the stove and the simple acts of kindness were really helpful...so thank you so much :D

That's it for now...I've been kinda laying low and concentrating on my sisters wedding and baby coming up. Hope to catch up soon

Military Life.....

Hello there friends! Sorry for my absence..I've been battling a bad cold someone passed me last week. Finally getting better now though <3 Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving with their family and friends!

So the past few days we have been talking about ordering our baby furniture because they are behind 10-12 weeks. If we order now it will be here just in time to get it all set up. Well...duty called last night. My husband called to tell me that he has to take a class in Texas from FEB-APRIL. I'm due in April...We DO have a few options. I truly love the guys at his shop. They have always been caring and understanding with family needs. We really are blessed to know these wonderful people. He HAS the option to go in July instead. I chose to have him leave in February because Id rather him miss MY doctor appointments and my belly growing than missing and watching little girl grow. I was always hoping he would be here with me throughout my entire pregnancy but I knew what is always possible.

The one exciting thing about this class he is taking is that it helps him get his next stripe and in turn does lots for our family <3 I'm just overly emotional and I'm playing the WHAT IF game while he is 7 hours away and can't get here fast enough. It's going to be hard juggling my ever growing belly, weekly dr appointments, a business, Mr. Caleb and his activities, Bandit dog and this house all while being strong for the husband. BWAHHHH!!! Thank GOD for my family and my friends for their support all the time. I'd be in a looney bin!!

Well since we only have a handful of weekends to get things together for our new bundle, I better get on it. Bless you all! <3

How far along are you? 20 weeks..She is measuring bigger so we have 2 due dates :D

What I’m Eating/What I’m Not Eating:  Still HATE corn products. Eating anything and everything now! 

Total Weight Gained So Far: -3 (Starting: 135 – Current: 132) 

Workouts: getting there :D

Sleep: Lots please!!

Most Exciting Moment This Week:  Going to our first Dr. appointment where we didnt have any issues. A quick check with doppler and see you in a few weeks<3 That's the way I like it!

Baby is the Size of a: a banana!!

Miss Anything?  I miss my occasional glass of champagne...a few more months

COME ON 22 WEEKS!!!

Howdy there folks!!! Thought I would run a quick update. Today is a super busy day and we are almost half way to BABY time!! I was able to take the week off with my hubby for some R and R and some healing. We had originally planned this trip in Sept to leave this week to see family in Texas but Dr said I should not probably travel. I do not know if I mentioned it in a past post-but I had a subchloric bleed on the wall the baby is on and the main way to heal is by lots of rest. I am so blessed to say the bleeding is down to 10% and I am doing much better!! I needed the time off and it was great to share it with my hubby and actually say 'I AM BORED'! Love it. Tonight we are having a get together for a friend who has orders to another state. We will miss him dearly! But with that being said, I need to maybe shower and get around today at a decent time. I hope everyone has a great Friday! HUGS!

How far along are you? 18 weeks

What I’m Eating/What I’m Not Eating: Eating lots on and off. FISH STICKS!! I DROOL WHEN I SEE FISH STICKS! Craving lots of milk and ice cream. Fruit Loops, powdered donuts, comfort food...ya know...all the good stuff!

Total Weight Gained So Far: -7 pounds (Starting: 135 – Current: 128) 

Workouts: Not quite yet

Sleep: I want to sleep everywhere at anytime. I am wore out!!

Most Exciting Moment This Week: Getting some time with my husband and putting up Christmas decor. I know with his hunting schedule it will not happen if we didnt do it soon :D
Baby is the Size of a: a cantaloupe 
Miss Anything? STILL Going to the bathroom ...TMI..sorry folks!

Stronger

Well this blog is my toughest one so far. We got into a chat a few weeks ago with friends about friendship and what it means to everyone. Well last week my blog said a bit about it and my feelings. I've always kinda let people in my life that probably didnt deserve to and let them treat me and others badly. Those who were not there for me on all levels and this blog is for me to vent and release. So here goes: I'm going to talk about my sister first....

In October 2011 Molly Stevens'  boyfriend noticed a small lump on her neck. After a visit to the family doctor, Molly was referred to a specialist. When noninvasive attempts to diagnose the cause of the lump failed, Molly resorted to allowing surgery to remove a portion of the lump. The sample was sent to Mayo Clinic and on November 8th, at 23 years old, Molly was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkins Lymphoma. At Stage 2 it will be necessary for Molly to receive 4 cycles of chemotherapy (8 sessions). PET scans and a (painful) bone marrow extraction revealed that the cancer was limited to the upper portion of her body and had not reached her organs or bones. Fortunately, the success rate in treatment of Hodgkins at this stage is very high. As of January 10, 2012 Molly completed her 4th session of chemotherapy. Let us hope and pray that when her chemotherapy is completed in March that she is declared free of all traces of this cancer! Molly's resolve is strong, so please follow her journey at:

http://themollyology.blogspot.com/.

During this time my sister was diagnosed the world pretty much stopped. Nothing else really mattered. We were in the middle of selling our home and my thoughts were to take it off the market - we had other things that took priority of our life now.  Cancer-it's such a nasty word to me. How can someone so young and healthy have cancer? 

They had to install a port into her chest and neck before treatment can start. A port is about the size of a silver dollar and it allows the chemo to get into your body without all of the pokes in your veins. This was the one and only time I personally saw my sister in physical pain during her treatment. I wish I could of took her pain away and would do anything to take this away from her. I would go and visit her on chemo days at lunch or at least send a text to let her know I was thinking of her. Going in to hangout with her during chemo was terribly sad. Seeing my baby sister plugged into a machine pumping her full of toxic fluids about makes you want to fall apart. Why?!! I asked God all of the time! There were nights I would just cry myself to sleep hoping it would all just go away.

So many other tests and surgeries and pokes and hair falling out were involved...and you know what? She NEVER complained. The only time I could even come close to getting her to tell me something that was even close to a complaint was when I asked her direct questions. She is such an amazing fighter! <3

I found this video and thought he had lots of good points on life.

Several weeks after Molly was diagnosed, I had an appointment with a surgeon. I have been struggling with gallstones for years now and wanted to have some answers. They did some tests and immediately called the next morning for me to come in. She said I had inflammation of my gallballder and billiary sludge. Which means my gallbladder was full of gallstones and was not working properly. 

I was scared to all means to have a surgery and remove an organ I've had my entire life. She told me to stay away from fat through the Thanksgiving holiday and I would have surgery the following week to remove my gallbladder. I kept telling myself maybe I will feel better tomorrow and we wont have to do this surgery at all. No such luck. I was depressed and sad. My sister was sick..I was trying to be strong for her... I was emotionally and physically spent also. Out of respect to my sister I'm not going to elaborate much more. You can read her journey through her blog link posted above.

During this time, is when you realize love and friendship. We are so blessed for the outpour of love and support during that time.

At times when the nights were quiet and I would try to understand why some people were still absent in our lives. I KNOW that if I had a friend who was going through all of this I would undoubtably be there for them. I know some people just don't know what to say... but even a text, a card or a phone call to say hi would have put smiles on faces. As the months would roll on you realize what is important. 

This blog was a means for me venting to all of the people wondering why we are no longer friends. Were you so wrapped up in yourself during time of need to pick up the phone, etc? Too busy?? I was beyond clueless and needed to just let go and let the burden off of me. I have slowly learned that you have to accept people for who they are and you cant make them care or show you they care. I'm not the same person I was last year. I'm stronger now and have a voice. If you were not there during the bad times don't expect to be around during the good times.

Last year was a hard year, we miscarried in August...I have a dear, wonderful friend, her little boy got sick and now all of this. The reason why I wrote this is because I am so proud of my sister. She is cancer free and just had her 6 month in remission check up. It's been a year to the date almost that we got the cancer news. I have learned so much about life and love and friends the past year. God is good and has blessed us so much.  

We love to be serious.....

all of the time....

<3

CHANGING

Ever look back and wonder what happened??  Ever have that friend that was once joined at the hip with you and now look back and wonder where they are? As I look back I realize we all change. We grow older, possibly get married, have children or just plain 'grown out' of common interests. As with many aspects of happiness, people often assume that friendship should flow easily and naturally, and that trying to “work” on it is forced and inauthentic. Sometimes friendships naturally arise, but sometimes they don’t. 

It's hard for me to still look back at certain friends-even some high school friends I NEVER thought I would lose touch with. We did. It happens. I had a old friend that moved away recently. We lost touch over the years but when I do see her face it makes me smile remembering all the fun we use to have but the honest truth is we just grew apart. We all take different paths. With that being said. I have a wonderful group I love to call my friends. Sometimes we get together with a few friends and sometimes one on one and sometimes a big group of us.  With a turn of events the past few years I have been very choosey who I let in because I am highly protective of my personal life and my loved ones. Sometimes when life throws you curve balls, it really makes you realize and regroup your life.  <------I will touch more on this subject next week......  Here was a website I found with things that made me sit back and look at life.  My heart is big and I'm so thankful for what God has blessed me with. <3

http://shil1978.hubpages.com/hub/A-Friend-Worth-Dying-For-Qualities-of-a-Good-Friend

Friendships are precious. We forge countless friendships as we go on with our lives. We come to expect a lot out of them and of our friends. Good friends, however, are hard to come by. We are often disappointed at a friend having let us down. While it takes a lot to build up friendships, it takes a matter of seconds to destroy them. The disappointment is greater often times because we have not recognized a friend as being a good friend. There are friends and there are good friends. Good friends can be differentiated from the rest by certain characteristics, which may seem obvious, but are rarely reflected upon by most people.

Trust: A good friend is someone you can trust totally with your deepest and darkest secrets, knowing full well that they would not share it with anyone else. 

Loyalty: A good friend is absolutely loyal to you through thick and thin. A good friend doesn't betray you when the going gets tough. A backstabbing friend is no friend.

Honesty: A good friend is someone who is not a "YES person." They will not be afraid to criticize you or point out your flaws. A good friend will not think about pleasing you at all times by saying YES, when in fact the situation warrants that they say things which may be unpleasant, but true.

Accepting: A good friend accepts you for what you are, no matter what the world thinks of you. A good friend does not try to change you, except for suggesting things you can improve upon and pointing out where you are going wrong, constructively.

Supportive: A good friend always supports you, especially when you need their support. A good friend enjoys your successes as if it were their own. A good friend isn't jealous or envious of your successes.

Helpful: A good friend is someone who takes the time to help you out with things you need helping out with, without looking at it as a chore or avoidable hassle.

Understanding: A good friend is one who understands you and knows when something is troubling you. When others can't see anything wrong with your body language, a good friend knows something is up, seeks to find out the source of the trouble and helps come up with solutions to the problems you are having.

Sacrifice: A good friend makes sacrifices for you and isn't selfish and self-centered. You matter equally to them - their world doesn't just revolve around themselves.

Money: A good friend doesn't let money get in the way of your friendship. They don't hang around with you for your money or the perks that come with it. A good friend stays with you and supports you irrespective of whether you are rich or poor.

Share Interests: A good friend may not always share all of your interests, but should at least share a few of them.

Listener: A good friend is a good listener, who is there to listen to you whenever you need to share your thoughts.

Respectful: A good friend would not put you down in front of others. They would respect you and would treat you just the way you would treat them - with respect.

Friends are hard to find and good friends, harder still. If you have a truly good friend, you are one of the lucky few because good friends aren't that easy to find these days, so count your blessings and keep your good friend! They are truly invaluable and irreplaceable.